NOT A HALF BAD MOVIE

Well, I finally got my copy of Noah. Not a half bad flick. The story holds together. The bad guys are suitably evil. Noah is heroically tormented. The story parts with the Old Testament in some details. Which isn’t hard since the Bible is very scanty with the details. And none of what must have been the total horror of the events. (fictional yes.)

God’s pissed. Doesn’t say why. God’s going to destroy Creation. He’s quite specific in the means. Call it the Great Cosmic Flush. Noah is tasked with saving a small portion of that Creation. The ark works. They land. The grape harvest is miraculously quick and I guess raw wine doesn’t take long to be drinkable if the drinker is just this side of insane and not to picky because that’s one detail that was included. The man is filthy drunk, passed out on the beach and buck naked. It’s a long shot, “tastefully” handled. If you can rent it online might be worth a look.

I’ve said before that I love the one star reviews on Amazon. Most of the ones from the fundies who thought were going to watch I’m not sure what are priceless. One gal took her under 13 kids to film expecting something reverential along the lines of the Ten Commandments, the Charlton Heston version.

And don’t know what it is with the fundies. Whether they’re psycho, sociopaths, lacking in the empathy gene or what. LADY this the story of the end of the world. By the time the film is over EVERYBODY except Noah and his family is dead. Can you even imagine living in a world so despoiled that the Creator decides to basically flush the whole shootin’ match and start over? Can you even imagine the horror as the dry land disappears and you’re left with nothing to hang on to? No, I didn’t think you could.

And most Americans are so theologically inept that they don’t recognize that there are two theologies represented in the film. The Dominator and the Caretaker. Tubal Cane is about as subtle as the Sherman tank. Man is at the top of the heap. What man needs, he takes and too bad about the mess. We take and use and destroy and leave devastation behind. Sound painfully familiar?

The Caretaker takes what is needed, doesn’t use more than is needed. Works with Creation and gives thanks for its gifts. Hello! Anybody listening?

And the trick of transporting an ark full of critters? Put ‘em into hibernation. That really stuck in some craws. Geez, people use your heads for a change. You want to shovel shit for the next ten months? It would take another ark just to haul enough hay for the elephants. And what about the lions, tigers, leopards etc. The Lord said two of each, not two to have offspring and a dozen extra to keep the meat eaters happy. Details, details details,

Well, this has maundered on long enough for now.