THROUGH THE GENERATIONS

I'm not sure how much sense this entry is going to make. I had one of my sort of weird, not quite out of body, WTF experiences this morning. I'm working on rebuilding the family tree on my computer, I've been reading on Geology, especially the Northwest which may have left me open to this.

Every atom in this universe was created during, just after the Big Bang or in the death throes of stars. The universe is the great recycler. Hydrogen and oxygen make water, the water molecules go through life forms, get incorporated in rocks. Those molecules get broken down, the hydrogen combines with carbon ends up in rocks, the the rocks weather, the atoms end up in an ancient fish, a leaf, a dinosaur, a grain of wheat, us. A vast network stretching back in time. 

Sections of my family tree stretch back into Europe, Central Europe, back to the nameless ones who tilled the soil, hunted the mammoth, ground the grain, looked up into the skies the first time to wonder what those tiny lights are, created the first calendars by watching the moon. Knocked rocks togther, visualized tying a rock to a stick, tamed fire. Past being human to the distant ancestors, to the first moleules that mastered the chemistry of reproduction, discovered sex, hunted other life forms. For all any of us know the atoms in our bodies spent time in rocks, plants, jellyfish, trilobites, volcanoes. 

Perhaps that's the real reason organized religion never seemed like enough. That enveloping feeling of connection, almost warmth looking down the generations. The wish that I had known these ancestors, known their lives. Even if they did turn out to be perfect assholes that time those atoms were part of that human being.

Does this make any sense at all. I had to get this down before it faded.